Exist in a state of need
Max and I have stumbled upon a surprisingly descriptive Moto for our trip thus far. Here it is:
Exist
In a state of need
Ask not
And you shall receive
It’s almost a haiku or something similar. This was not an idea that we came up with before we started our journey. And it’s definitely not a concept we anticipated being so ubiquitous on our journey.
There is something to be said about leaning into uncertainty. Taking risks, especially when you are young, is often viewed as a positive thing. “Luck favors the Bold” and such sayings exemplify this thought pattern. However, uncertainty is an uncomfortable place to live and many of our friends and acquaintances are doing a lot to live a more certain life. I absolutely intend on getting back to a more certain style of living once we are done with this van adventure (although I may acknowledge that nothing is actually certain in this world). This whole adventure is a practice in existing in the unknown and uncertain world. Another way of saying that is existing in a state of need without reassurance or certainty of where those needs will be met. I find that living in a constant state of perceived independence is not only lonely and exhausting, but almost impossible for me. We all have needs which must be met by others. It is evident to most that we are enriched by helping others. However, I believe there is an equally important fulfillment in needing and receiving help from others.
A common narrative of Van-lifers is based in the American idea of the rugged individual and freedom of the road. There is a romanticized version of van life which is a freedom from traditional work and home structures and from society at large. People will take a few months to go live in a decked-out sprinter van (complete with a toilette, shower, sun panel powered-refrigerator and espresso machine) in the middle of a national forest, requiring no outside assistance and living the ultimate un-bound, independent lifestyle. The appeal, for most Americans, is obvious. However, the practice of this style of van-life never felt quite right to Max or I. I’m not diminishing the benefits of this type of experience for those who love it, but our trip never felt like it needed to have these qualities in order to be fulfilling. I’ve found, in our pre-van adventures, that the more we tried to be self-sufficient and sequestered away in the great outdoors, the more I feel lost. I would feel separated from the world and instead of the great clarity some describe entering into the most remote areas of the country, my brain would always grow paranoid and the isolation felt dangerous rather than liberating. Always fighting through these feelings (even if they were small and fairly easily managed) always made me question myself. I LOVE the outdoors and I have been exploring since I was a child. I realized that it was not the outdoors that made me feel uneasy, but the lack of human connection. Relying only on yourself for your own survival was a fun challenge, but never fulfilled me in the way I would hope.
As our practice of this began, an incredible thing starting happening. Time and time again, our needs would be met. Maybe not right away or in the way we expected, but one way or another we’d always have everything we needed. And often times, we would receive more than we asked for from people. Perhaps this is something that everybody who’s traveled could tell you, but for us it was an absolutely delightful discovery, and it’s a truth we were betting on when we left our previous lives for this one. Our wager (so far) has seemed to work out and our belief about the world and the people in it being open and willing to give seems to hold true in most cases.
I’ve heard from some international travelers before that Americans are extremely friendly (especially to those who are backpacking, bike-packing etc.). I always brushed this off as foreigners having an especially low impression of Americans before getting here and being surprised that we are just normal people. However, Several weeks ago Max and I had some Austrian bike-packers unexpectedly join us at our campsite in rural Pennsylvania. After several hours of inspiring conversation, one of them asked me why Americans were so incredibly friendly towards travelers. They gave several examples of people going far out of their way to help them. I posited that Americans love the free-spirit of the traveler, but I honestly have no idea what drives our friendliness. Neither max nor I could quite conjure up a good answer to their question. It consistently surprises me how nice people are and it has been an absolute pleasure to explore in a world of unexpected kindness.
Max and I are trying our best to learn from those we meet along the way. What are the best ways to show kindness to other people? To our friends, family, and strangers? How can we create a place in this world where people will feel welcome and loved? How do we protect ourselves while remaining open to the people around us? As we continue in this somewhat scary but exciting journey, I hope that we will always have the sustenance and shelter we need, and a smile or kind word to bolster our spirits.
